I have been having a bit of confusion and doubts about life in general (trust me, I have a lot of that). I set myself some goals too far in the future. Now, mind you, these are not bad goals and having a vision in general is not bad at all. But sometimes I have these emotional outbursts where I get too excited about things or lose passion altogether for things (blame the goddamned disorder). Lately I have been kind of having a mid-life crisis, even though I am not sure I am old enough for a mid life crisis yet, but you get the point. I was confused, and heck I may still be a little confused, because I want to go back to school (for a PhD, already have my two trophy Masters), but I also want to travel, get a new job, move to a new sunny city, live a fairly luxurious life, and about my single status – I am perpetually confused about that.
With all this said, I had been spending the last few weeks just completely stressed out, confused and basically feeling like a loser and feeling very unhappy. I had stressed myself out to the point where I started getting persistent headaches, and the goals I set for myself suddenly began to feel like giant icebergs increasing the stress all the more. The result, I couldn’t enjoy the simple things I normally enjoy doing. I lost 37 lbs in the last year and now I am in a good shape that I should be proud of, but guess what I haven’t even gone shopping to buy some clothes that now will fit me or take selfies and post them (so childish). Similarly, I have hardly been going out, having fun or doing anything which makes me even remotely happy. And thanks to the east coast weather (I know it is an excuse) I haven’t been traveling much either and life pretty much has been feeling claustrophobic. I just realized that all I really want is to break the monotony. A special mention here to a friend who made me reconsider my stress by simply stating some of the obvious. I give too many fucks about things which don’t necessarily matter (got this from the subtle art of not giving a fuck). I get bored easily, I need constant intellectual stimulation and communing with nature. So I decided to list down a few little really simple things that make me happy and change my mood. Here are a few random things for example.I think everyone of us should do this little exercise every now, just to bring ourselves back to reality. These are just simple things, not your grand death goals –
1) Go to a beach, stare the water.
2) Go hiking up a mountain and stare at the ground below.
3) Go shopping, throw money on clothes and shoes and makeup (which I almost never wear).
4) Read a nice book.
5) Paint something.
Having been caught up with all my thoughts, confusions and doubts, I forgot that all I needed to do was to break the monotony of just going to work and coming back home and to simply stop being overwhelmed and worrying about how hard some of my goals are, how well or poorly planned my steps towards my goals are and even getting confused if the goals I have set for myself are truly things I want. All I needed to do was to just stop thinking and do one of the few silly things that would make me happy.
I am not saying you should stop working towards your goals. Sometimes all you need to do is to take a break from your own self. Mindfully appreciating the simple pleasures of life does wonders and helps us enjoy the journey towards our goals instead of postponing our happiness until we achieve something, which, trust me is a recipe for failure and psychology will back me up on that. Instead we get caught up in the vicious circle of perpetual overthinking and getting nowhere. Even a car needs servicing every now and then, why then we as humans think we are exempt from breaks and re-servicing at times? You don’t have to become the next Zuckerberg or Mother Teresa overnight. Just go start working out, take a new class, get a new hair cut, go to your building roof top and shout at the top of your voice, whatever it is, just break the monotony, do it today, do it now. Go do something and don’t let yourself drown in your own dead sea of overthinking, stress, anxiety and monotony. Just break the cycle and go do something silly.
